August 17, 2017
Duck Sex
It's spring and once again time for the renewal of life. Every year, miraculously and beautifully the cycle begins anew as nature seeks to recreate itself. Have you ever seen ducks mate? It's not a pretty thing. In fact it's down right disturbing.

Three times in the last couple of weeks I have been out golfing and witnessed duck sex. From what I've seen, male ducks work in pairs to force themselves on one unfortunate female duck. I watched in horror as the guy ducks chased the gal duck all over the place, and once they cornered her the one guy duck grabbed her by the throat and held her down while the other guy duck mounted her. She's screaming, quacking, wings flapping, going crazy, trying to get away, but they kept after her and eventually did it. It was a gang duck bang.

Then the next time I was out golfing there were two more guy ducks and they chased this gal duck all over and they were quacking and carrying on, and I knew it was another gang duck bang and I felt horrible about it... first because I was trying to make a birdie putt and couldn't concentrate. But mainly I couldn't concentrate because I felt so bad for the gal duck. I wanted to turn around and say, "Would you stop it. Stop it. That's no way to treat anyone. That's not how... decent... ducks behave." And then, of course, I realized, that is how decent ducks behave. That's nature way.

And they did stop it. This time the two guy ducks got tired and gave up chasing the gal duck, but after they stopped paying attention to her she started following them around. It looked like a singles bar.

Then I saw two geese in the pond and the guy goose was on top of the gal goose and not only was he doing it but he was trying to keep her head underwater while he was doing it. Animal love is rough and hard to watch.

So what can we learn from observing sex in nature? Guys like sex lots more than gals (at least for waterfowl that's true). I guess some human guys could look at all this and use it as a rationalization for their own aggressive sexual behavior, claiming it's just nature's way, but if you do . . . you're just acting like a duck.