March 27, 2017
"They love to make money and it shows"
Is it just me or have the airlines gone to hell? My last three flights were canceled and I've been stuck for hours at the airport, losing business and going crazy. None of these canceled flights were fully booked and because the airlines don't want to lose money on flying a half-empty plane, I contend they make up some fogged-in, hydraulic repair, the-dog-ate-our-homework-so-it's-not-our-fault-you-don't-get-to-go-where-we-said-we'd-take-you story, and screw you and me, the customer. And you know why the airlines can get away with treating us like that? Because you can't walk from Minneapolis to Los Angeles, that's why. Especially on short notice with a golf bag.

So what can we the people do about big corporations lying to us, abusing us in the name of profits? First of all, write a letter of complaint every single time they jerk you around. Tell the offending airline that you are going to stand outside their terminal for 30 days in a row and pay people to not fly their airline, that you will use your personal fortune, money you inherited from your grandmother who invented the hoola hoop, to buy total strangers tickets on another airline and hire a masseuse to give these people a foot massage in first class if they will just fly another airline. If, by the way, you do have lots of money to spend, please, please go ahead and actually do this. Otherwise just threaten to do it in your letter.

If you have to fly an airline that has screwed you over in the past, once in the air, complain in a high, wheezy voice for "More peanuts, more peanuts, I want more peanuts." And then when the flight attendant brings the peanuts, toss them on the floor in disgust and say, "Take these stale legumes away from me you silly person." Just before landing, claim you heard a baby in the overhead compartment and demand the pilot search the plane. After they don't find a baby, claim you're sure you heard a baby's voice up there saying "On the left side of the plane you can see the Grand Canyon."

My point is unless we make a stink, there is no reason for airlines to change how they do business. They say they love to fly but what shows is they love to make money. If that weren't the case they'd give us cashews and normal sized pillows.