April 28, 2017
I Think I Saw Joni Mitchell Driving an SUV
What would be a stranger sight to see Joni Mitchell driving an SUV or Henry David Thoreau roaring over Walden Pond on a jet ski? I am pretty sure I saw one of those things the other day on Sunset Boulevard and it kind of creeped me out.

I don't know exactly why but if someone had asked me to guess what kind of vehicle Joni Mitchell drove I would say a Volvo or Saab or a new highly efficient hybrid Honda or some classic vintage Studebaker that was not earth friendly but so cool I could give her artistic license. I never would have guessed some big honkin', trendy, just like everybody else in L.A., environmental disaster truck.

Being concerned with the environment is not something you do because someone famous told you to, but if the singer who was worried that they were going to pave paradise and put up a parking lot is getting 11 miles to the gallon I AM somehow less motivated environmentally speaking. And if Joni Mitchell is driving an SUV it also means our whole culture has lost its mind. We're just not thinking.

We know burning fossil fuels is not helping things. We know buying more and more oil makes us more and more dependent on people who think of us as the great Satan and we know that the new Cadillac Escalade looks like a fancy storage shed rolling up the street.

Can I possibly be wrong when I say these SUV's have gotten hideously huge I saw a soccer Mom climbing down out of a Lincoln Navigator and for a second I thought she was a midget getting off a school bus. These behemoths are sized all out of proportion to their transportation purpose. In the future we will see the current crop of SUV's as 10 inch wide lapels.

I just don't get what people are thinking about, the furthest off-road these L.A. SUV owners get is a gravel parking lot. People, you don't need 2 feet of ground clearance to go over a speed bump.

People like George Will argue that the SUV has been a great financial boon to the auto industry and gives great benefit to the consumer. But George Will didn't right the song Woodstock. He wears a bow tie and still thinks Reaganomics was a miracle. He can't understand why SUV's are wrong.

But if Joni Mitchell doesn't get that, we're doomed. Joni, if it wasn't you driving that SUV I am sorry. But if it was, I am confused. I believed you when you said we are stardust, and that we are golden and that we've got to get ourselves back to the garden. Are you now saying we need four-wheel drive to get there? Because Joni, I'm pretty sure the roads to the garden are level and paved.