December 15, 2017
King Pretzel
Long, long ago, in a place so far away you wouldn't want to walk there from here, there lived a King loved by all the people named King Pretzel. If not all the people, most of them, for good King Pretzel cared for his subjects and protected them and listened to them because he said "It is the wisest of Kings who listens to a wise people."

And for this the people loved the King and the merchants loved King Pretzel too because he also said "The best guidance a King can give to a smart merchant is no guidance at all."

Occasionally a jester would ask King Pretzel, If the merchant is like the fox who wants the eggs of the chicken shouldn't the chicken be wary of the fox? And the King said, if by eggs you mean money, I say if a merchant steals the eggs of the chicken, and if by chicken you mean the people, then the wise people will say "'Ney' to the merchant who steals their eggs and the merchant would be no more, thus no merchant would steal the eggs of a wise people."

And for some reason this made sense to the people who believed, amongst other things, that wearing a little bag of tree fungus around their neck would cure that rash in their nether regions. A rash, ironically, itself, caused by a fungus.

And then one day a merchant named Fast-one of House-ton, who was best of friends with King Pretzel and advised him mightily and made for the King many great parties because he was one of the kingdoms most glorious merchants, just disappeared. And several fingers of the people were pointed and numbers of questions were asked but not many were answered for the merchant wasn't talking, having flown the coop with many of the people's eggs.

And the King said, this is sad but this is good, for this is how it should work. This merchant will no longer be trusted by the people who are wise and thus the system work-eth well. And the people said, But what about our eggs? We need eggs, King Pretzel!

But not too long after getting no real answers from the King or anybody else, the people, whom the King said are wise, quit asking their questions and seeing this the jester said, Can the people actually be wise if they believe a King who says his wise people should guard their eggs from a fox whom the King himself brought into their coop? And how wise is the King to have taken advice from Fast-one of House-ton? And the Jester was pelted with bags of fungus by the wise people who just wanted to watch the Super Bowl and stop the Jester from asking impertinent questions of good King Pretzel.

And thus, forever and ever the people kept losing their eggs to new foxes and scratching their nether regions.