Some People Call Me the Gangster of Accounting
Last week federal prosecutors showed jurors in the Arthur Andersen trial some song lyrics written in 1995 by an Andersen partner, James Hecker, that suggested their accounting practices were misleading and designed to trick investors into thinking Enron Corp. was profitable at all times.
[hotel california/ music under]
The song Hecker used in his parody was "Hotel California" by The Eagles. If you are not familiar with the song, welcome to America. What galaxy are you from? Anyway, some of the lyrics written by that Andersen partner include...
Last thing I remember, I was running for the door
I had to find the entries back to the GAAP (generally accepted accounting practices) we had before.
Relax said the client, we are programmed to succeed.
You can audit any time you like, but we will never bleed.
On the witness stand Mr. Hecker, said his lyrics were intended as a joke and, unlike most parodies, not based on truth and nothing in the song should be taken seriously by the court. In other words he's saying 'Arthur Andersen is innocent now even though back then we sang a different tune... literally.'
Well, on behalf of all the employees that lost their 401K's, and investors who bought Enron stock and Californians who over payed for energy and anyone who is annoyed by corporate sleeze, I have a song parody about you Andersen guys.
[Steve Miller- The Joker]
Some people call you devoid of ethics
some call you the gangster of accounting
Some people say you're why they got fleeced.
Cuz' you lied 'bout the solvency of Enron
And you Arthur Andersen people can't sue me. Know why? My song parody is not to be taken seriously.
[Beatles - Let it Be]
Because when I find myself in times of trouble Arthur Andersen comes to me,
Speaking words of wisdom,
Shred the evidence.
But this I say in all seriousness...
[Paul McCartney Maybe I'm Amazed]
Arthur I'm amazed you're not already doing time, even tried the innocence line, maybe I amazed
no one's taken a calculator and beaten you.
And if there is a god in heaven, or if the jury hasn't been bought off, here's a tune that might ome in handy the first time you walk into your prison cell and meet your new room-mate.
[I'm in love-Wilson Pickett. LYRICS= "I'm in love! I'm in love!]