January 21, 2018

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

8-Foot Carnivorous Cat-Eating Lizards Are Invading Florida
PALM BEACH, Florida- The African reptiles, which can grow to 8 feet long, have established a breeding population in central Palm Beach County, where they devour native wildlife and residents are sure pet cats as well. So, Jenny Ketterlin Eckles, non-native wildlife biologist for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, and other biologists are patrolling the canals with shotguns trying to eradicate the beasts. One man thought monitors were responsible for the disappearance of his Dachsund puppies, and several people reported a mysterious decline of the feral cat population when the monitors appeared, Eckles said. A cat owner herself, Eckles added, "If you've ever witnessed one of these monsters grab a Tabby by the neck and snap it with one shake you'd be out with a shotgun, too."
"My Kids Won't Go To The Bus Stop"
LAKE TAHOE, California- "Mommy there's a lion at the bus stop," is what Marybeth Holland heard from her two kids one day. Thinking this was just another excuse for getting out of school or being late Holland thought she'd take the opportunity to teach her kids a lesson and marched back down to the bus stop with her youngsters. And there was a lion... on a leash. Animal trainer Mikael Mirica had his lion, Django, out for a walk. "When Caesars or the other casinos gets an animal show in for a run we see some strange stuff in the neighborhood," said Holland. The Sheriff was notified but the Cirque De Africa show ended their run and left town before charges could be filed.
Deer Attacks So Common It Gets a Sign
GRANTS PASS, Washington- Experienced hikers welcome a closeup view of wildlife and accept the risks involved. But when attacks by angry deer are predictable it's time for a sign warning those entering a trailhead to keep their head on a swivel. "It seems like deer don't want hikers to enter the trailhead because that's where the attacks keep happening," said DNR Ranger Rick Reynolds. As of yet, there have been no deer violence on human deaths but many stitches needed and bruises suffered by the nature loving humans.
Ape Apes Finger
SAN DIEGO, California- Tammy Fong and friends learned how quickly a chimp can understand the point of and how to give the middle finger salute at Wild Safari Animal Encounter. Fong was getting annoyed with her boyfriend, Pat, who was instructing Tammy on how to pose for a picture of her and Fred, a chimp. Fong had enough of the instructions and flipped off Pat and Fred must have been annoyed too because he flipped off Pat, as well. "Unless Fred has done this before, he knew right away what the finger meant and how to do it," said Fong. "We laughed for days. Thank god we have the picture. I think it's going to be my Christmas card."
Sloth Smile Causes Nightmare
MONTGOMERY, Alabama- School children love the field trip to the zoo. Unless seeing a sloth smile at you with human appearing teeth gives you nightmares. "There was no way to predict this. It's never happened before, in all my years as a teacher, but one of our students is having nightmares where the sloth is her dentist. Now she won't go in to have her braces adjusted," said Kingfish Elementary teacher Debra White.
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