September 20, 2017

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

"That Monkey Just Loves Candy"
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SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA- Golfers in America need to worry about squirrels getting into their cart or bag and stealing their snacks. In South Korea, players have to worry about monkeys, too, and if they brought lollipops there is one monkey that will do anything to steal it. "If you bring hard candy 'Licky' will open any zipper, rip up any wrapper, that devil will take it and go off just far enough away to let you watch him eat your candy," said Sun Yuan Links head groundskeeper Chul Sook.
Kamikaze Pigeon Bombs Building
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MADISON, Wisconsin- It is thought when birds fly into windows it's an accident. As of yesterday, Mike Schmidt, of Spring Green, doesn't think that is always the case. "I was standing there looking out the window, sipping on my morning coffee, and I swear to God that pigeon was staring right at me as it came in and it knew what it wanted to do, it flew right into my window, right at my head. When it hit my first thought was 'That is going to leave a mark' and sure enough it did." An ornithologist Schmidt contacted told him the pigeon body outline was dust and lice but Schmidt thinks it's more than that, it's a message. "We never found a body so I think the pigeon survived. That's why when I got outside now I always wear a hat."
Cows Love Viszla
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SIOUX CITY, Iowa- Other than man, most species keep their distance from other species. That is, except for John Daggett's cows and dog Lulu, a Viszla that just loves to be loved. "Viszlas love attention, everybody they meet is their new best friend. My cows love how much Lulu loves to be loved. It's a mutual admiration society. When the herd gets milked Lulu wants to be milked too. Damn dog thinks she's a cow."
Photographer Almost Killed By His Best Subject Ever
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NAIROBI, Kenya- "I turned around and thought this is going to be my best lion photo ever. What I should have thought was 'Get in the truck, idiot!'" That what Anfir Beghrazi said after taking his best ever picture of a lion. "It was coming up on me from behind, stalking me, about to pounce and when I turned around my first instinct was to wait for the right moment to snap the shutter instead of getting to safety. Maybe I have been out here too long."
8-Foot Carnivorous Cat-Eating Lizards Are Invading Florida
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PALM BEACH, Florida- The African reptiles, which can grow to 8 feet long, have established a breeding population in central Palm Beach County, where they devour native wildlife and residents are sure pet cats as well. So, Jenny Ketterlin Eckles, non-native wildlife biologist for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, and other biologists are patrolling the canals with shotguns trying to eradicate the beasts. One man thought monitors were responsible for the disappearance of his Dachsund puppies, and several people reported a mysterious decline of the feral cat population when the monitors appeared, Eckles said. A cat owner herself, Eckles added, "If you've ever witnessed one of these monsters grab a Tabby by the neck and snap it with one shake you'd be out with a shotgun, too."
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