May 29, 2017

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Porn in the Woods
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Idaho Falls - ID - Irate leaders of several local churches have petitioned the DNR to cut down a tree they find offensive and say, "Turns a hike or camp out into an X-rated movie." Pastor Richard C. Johnson said, "You can't take your kids for a walk along Mosey's Creek with out running into a bunch of jiggly, sex crazed women posing with this tree. How do you explain why they are grabbing this thing to your kids? That they just really loves trees?"
Angry Beaver Terrorizes Des Moines
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Des Moines - Iowa - An obviously angry beaver tried to shut down downtown Des Moines yesterday. The cranky Castoridae stopped cars and attacked bikers before being corralled by police and removed, allowing human commerce to continue.
Humans Rode Dinosaurs
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Lexington- KY - Creation Museum officials report they have found proof when Adam and Eve were kicked out of the Garden of Eden they left on the backs of friendly dinosaurs. "The Bible is literally true so we know humans and dinosaurs existed at the same time," said Ken Ham. "Not only were they not eating us, but like in the Flintstones they helped us do stuff."
Armed dolphins are loose
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GALVESTON, TX - Chagrined Navy officers admit that several dolphins with poison dart guns attached to their flippers have escaped their enclosures and have been seen stalking bathers along Texas beaches. One officer involved in the clandestine operation, anonymously, claimed "These fish ain't Flipper. They are mean, and they are armed. Don't be fooled by that smile, these guys don't like humans. I am almost happy they escaped 'cuz I never liked getting in the pool with them, especially when they were armed."
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