April 29, 2017

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Woman Kisses Beaver
Fergus Falls, MINNESOTA- Wild animals are generally not happy to be kissed by humans but some beavers love getting smooched by Linda Dinteman. "They are lovely creatures and I just love them so much." Neighbors, in the Shanty Creek subdivision, are not happy about it though and have complained to city officials. Lawyers on both sides are not sure if local regulations cover a woman kissing a beaver in public.
Panda Claims Innocence in Killing
Schunzan, CHINA- Ling-tong, a baby panda at the Great Bear Breeding Center, is being accused of murder. Long time trainer Tang Lum was found dead in the baby panda nursery. When fellow workers entered the nursery Ling-tong was lingering nearby the slain trainer holding onto a bloody bamboo branch. "Ling acted sad that Tang was no longer moving but I thought it was an act and couldn't help but be suspicious," said Han Jang, spokesman for the center.
"Are They Working Together?"
Ishpeming, MICHIGAN- A hunter's trail camera has discovered who has been wrecking his deer stand and hunting site. But what Andy Gangas saw on the camera was not what he expected-a raccoon on the back of a wild boar. "From the damage to the deer stand it looked someone knew what they wanted to do. And now it looks as if these two were working together, the raccoon steering the boar through my stuff like a bulldozer."
"A Mouse Ate My Clasp"
Boston, MASS.- Cheerleader Debbie Brooks is furious with the mice in the cheerleader locker room. "One of these little %$#@*&^ chewed up part of the clasp on my top, so, like, the thing flew apart right on TV and my parents were watching... it was so embarrassing. My boob went Janet Jackson but it wasn't my fault. It was the mice." Team officials have suspended Miss Brooks pending an investigation.
Porker Constipation
S.Wales,NEW ZEALAND-A giant porker got to be too much for Caroline Hayes, 63, making her a prisoner in her own home by refusing to let her leave her farm house until she fed him. "When I ran out of food he wouldn't let me outside to use the loo," said Ms. Hayes, whose farm doesn't have indoor plumbing. The giant pig would keep her inside for days on end until friends came by with more bananas, the hungry porker's favourite food. Wildlife officials captured the huge pig which was gladly accepted by a piggery who intends to use him as their lead stud.
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