February 23, 2017

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Porker Constipation
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S.Wales,NEW ZEALAND-A giant porker got to be too much for Caroline Hayes, 63, making her a prisoner in her own home by refusing to let her leave her farm house until she fed him. "When I ran out of food he wouldn't let me outside to use the loo," said Ms. Hayes, whose farm doesn't have indoor plumbing. The giant pig would keep her inside for days on end until friends came by with more bananas, the hungry porker's favourite food. Wildlife officials captured the huge pig which was gladly accepted by a piggery who intends to use him as their lead stud.
Deer Won't Leave
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Galesburg, ILLINOIS- Michael and Pascal Mirica can't get a deer out of their bed. Their doors were open one day to move some furniture and the doe walked right past them and has never left except to eat and relieve itself. "And then it's right back onto our bed," said the frustrated couple. Neighbors have suggested they use force but the couple seem trapped by their religious convictions-she is a Quaker and he is a Christian Scientist so they can't use violence or get medical help if the use of force goes wrong.
Petting Zoo Closed
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Sacramento, CALIFORNIA- Keller Petting Zoo has been forced to close due to horny kangaroos. Owner Bob Keller pleaded with city officials to wait until he could do the necessary surgeries on his male kangaroos but pressure from parents groups prevailed.
Bear Attacks Hunter, Then Follows Him To Hospital
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Buckholtz, WISCONSIN - Scott Taylor got mauled by a bear while turkey hunting last Saturday. But the real surprise came when the revenge driven bear showed up at the St. Stevens Hospital emergency room and came after him again. "I know it was the same bear because I took off some of his ear with some buck shot. Now I'm worried he is going to follow me home. I had the ambulance take the long way so the beast gets turned around and can't find the way here."
Moose Ruins Summer
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Ketchikan, ALASKA - A moose ruined the summer for 3 year old Michelle Weiss. A moose took up residence in her wading pool in early June and never left. Even if the moose did leave, the water was filled with hair and needed to be cleaned and re-filled. Once cleaned, the moose would charge back and scare off the screaming little girl just as she stepped into the pool, chasing her back into her home. For her 4th birthday Michelle has asked her parents for a gun.
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