November 24, 2017

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

They're Everywhere
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BOSTON, Massachusetts- Truman, a 7-foot-long, 30-pound octopus at the New England Aquarium squeezed his body into a 14-inch square acrylic box today in pursuit of food, aquarium officials said. The caretakers for the octopi at the aquarium place food inside locked boxes as an enrichment activity. But zoo goer Marge Sage, who witnessed the exercise, had other ideas. "Do we really want to teach animals how to break and enter? We spend part of the summer on a boat and seeing this makes me very nervous."
Knock! Knock! Who's There?
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BOCA RATON, Florida- It was no joke when Lisa Ludweigsen heard a knock-knock at her front door. "I was expecting someone and if it wasn't for the big window we have in the door I would have opened right up and then, who knows what," said the still shaking senior after emergency crews arrived. "That 'gator knocked and looked ready to come barging in if I even cracked the door. I could see that one big eye ball looking at the door jam and then up at me. He was coiled and ready to jump through if he had half a chance."
Squirrels Dis-honor American Heroes on Memorial Day
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HALLOWED GROUND, The United States of America- At cemeteries all over America squirrels have taken American flags put out to honor the nation's war dead and used them to make nests in nearby trees. National Memorial Association Director Brian Puckette said, "I have heard from cemetery people all over the nation... on Memorial Day squirrels took flags everywhere, in every state. It's almost as if they had a plan."
Bear For Dinner
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POCCATELLO, Idaho- Ben and Barb Terrio frequently have bear for dinner but not as a main course, as a guest. "Grizzer just loves good company and good food," claims Ben Terrio. "He is just one of the neighbors to us and we are happy to have him join us any time." But some of the Terrio's human neighbors are not so sure. "This guy is a total flake. He has trained this bear to come trotting down the street whenever he smells food and I have kids on roller blades out there. This has got to stop," exclaimed an exasperated Cary Otis.
Faith In The Family Organization Announces Winning Couple
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SPRINGFIELD, Virginia- Dr. Pendleton Kennewick has announced his organization's annual Couple of the Year Award will go to Bertha and Florian Klasinski. "This loving couple work so well together and trust each other in a way that few ever do and we want to acknowledge their success with this award," said Dr. Kennewick. "Plus, can you believe her sense of balance?"
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