March 22, 2017

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Mice Embarrass Another Skater
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LOS ANGELES, California- James Alcroft is certain rodents hate his figure skaters. Mice have bitten into and weakened the straps of two of his female figure skaters leading to very difficult moments during big routines. "You just can't skate with confidence when you have a boob hanging out," said the frustrated manager.
Deer Causes Sudden Stop, Boat Goes Camping
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HOLLAND, Michigan- Bernie Filpot was bringing his boat to the launch to start the season but before he even got to the water his boat ended up in his camper. "I never suspected I'd see a deer in this part of town but out of nowhere there it was. I hit the brakes hard and suddenly the bow is in the bedroom. This sure changes our plans for the summer."
Illinois Has Answer For Big Head Carp
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SPRINGFIELD, Illinois- State Water Management Director, John Means, thinks he has the solution to the growing big head carp problem in state waters. "Let's breed, buy, steal every eagle and osprey we can and get a natural predator in here to take out these slimy (expletive deleted)."
Swordfish Gets Captain
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LIGHTHOUSE POINT, Fla- If you were a fish and you wanted a fishing boat to run aground you'd aim for the captain. That's exactly what a 355-pound swordfish did, using its bill to break John Barfield's collarbone and bruise his forehead. Even though he just survived a swordfish attack, Barfield is ready to get out there again. "I'd go fishing tomorrow if I could, especially since it seems the big ones are gunnin' for me, now. Let the games begin."
Worst Uncle Of The Year Award Winner Named
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NEDERLAND, Colorado- Jamie Morin was voted Worst Uncle of the Year by the Nederland Chamber of Commerce. Photos are sent in by family members and the voting is part of a charity fund raiser for the Boys and Girls Club.
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