December 15, 2017

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Idiot Gets Grizzly Drunk
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YELLOWSTONE VISTA, Wyoming- Haus Burton just loves bears. He even invites them into his hot tub for a cold brew. "They can't hold a bottle yet, but I'm working on that. Right now I have to feed them like a baby. And they love a full, hoppy beer. If I just have Coors they leave."
Deer Wants Fresh Chocolate Chip Cookies Now!
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CINCINNATI, Ohio- A deer scampered into the Whole Foods store in Rookwood Commons and charged in, heading for the smell of baking chocolate chip cookies in the bakery section. "He was hanging out next to the oven waiting for the cookies to come out," said Scott Hartman, the store's manager, adding, "That's not a normal thing." The deer hung out in the bakery 25 minutes until the SPCA showed up. Once a tranquilizer took effect, police and the SPCA carried the animal out without a cookie. Hartman said this is the third time he's run a Whole Foods location that's hosted a deer. "Apparently deer like quality organic gourmet food."
Mommy, Are The Big Fish Mean Or Friendly?
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KEY WEST, Florida- Summer vacation means fun in the sun and surf for most Americans but not for the Dave and Betsy Edwards family. "That was one long couple of days on that boat," said Kelly Edwards. "Until the rescue choppers came I thought we were never going to see Minnesota again." The Edwards rented yacht failed and drifted for days, surrounded by sharks.
Take This Job and...
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SAN DIEGO, California- Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger took a stand against anti-illegal immigrant groups saying, "There are jobs that lots of people who live here legally won't do. Unless you protesters will take these jobs just shut up." The governor's remarks were made after a sweep of the San Diego Zoo found there were some illegal immigrants working there.
Indecent Elk Scares Home Schoolers
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COEUR D' ALENE, Idaho- Betsy Ann Bowsen thought she could keep her kids free from thoughts of sex by taking them out of the public schools. Then an excitable elk took up residence in her yard and started poking around in its private parts, everyday around 5PM. "What are the odds of this? I had it with what my kids heard on the playground. Now I have to explain what this elk is doing."
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