August 19, 2017

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Bear Loves Indoors
image
IRON MOUNTAIN, Michigan- A black bear just won't stay out of Sue Frumritter's house and it is hurting her love life. "I've done everything I can think of, but this bear just keeps breaking in, pushing open doors, windows... it just likes being in my house. I have to change my profile on e-harmony to include 'Lives with big hairy room-mate.'"
"It Just Wanted To Kill Me"
image
STINSON BEACH, California- Surfer Thom Platt has seen a great white close up and may never go in the ocean again. "I love surfing more than anything but I saw a look in that shark's eye that will keep me dry for the rest of my life. I could see the hate. That damn thing went for me but got my surfboard instead. I was lucky this time. I am not going to press my luck."
Breeder of Fighting Dogs Was Angry Young Man
image
MONTGOMERY, Alabama- Slap Dunlap is being sought by authorities for breeding fighting dogs. His father, Pastor Dunwoody Dunlap told authorities, "My son was always an angry young man who just had an edge. Once he got to a certain size we could never be comfortable around him."
Polar Bear Attacks Attack Sub
image
ARCTIC CIRCLE, International Waters- Polar bears have been showing unusual interest in surfacing U.S. attack subs, according to navy spokesperson, Lt. Mary Beth Holtz. "We don't often see polar bears hanging around but lately when we surface they have been studying the sub's exterior, almost trying to figure out how to get in. One bear even took a swipe at our periscope and then looked in giving the commander the stink eye."
Idiot Gets Grizzly Drunk
image
YELLOWSTONE VISTA, Wyoming- Haus Burton just loves bears. He even invites them into his hot tub for a cold brew. "They can't hold a bottle yet, but I'm working on that. Right now I have to feed them like a baby. And they love a full, hoppy beer. If I just have Coors they leave."
Go to page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73