April 29, 2017

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Holy Sheephead Batman!
DANBURY TWP, Ohio- A Lake Erie freshwater drum, or sheepshead, smashed a woman's windshield when an eagle dropped the fish from about 40 feet in the air. Leighann Niles, 35, said she was earlier driving west on Interstate 480 when a small bird shot into her back passenger door, startling her 5-year-old daughter. I said "It's OK honey, it's just good it didn't hit the windshield. An hour later, we're coming into Marblehead and the next thing I knew, the fish shattered my windshield. I don't want to say I've been targeted by birds but it sure seems weird. And that fish had spooky teeth, too."
Spider 'Coon, Does Whatever a Spider 'Coon Can.
CHICAGO, Illinois- Bob Heymann never thought he would be burglarized by a raccoon on the 6th floor of a Gold Coast apartment building but that is just what police determine has been happening. "First it was a watch, a ring, loose change... then an I-pod. Finally I set up motion detectors and we caught the bastard trying to climb down the wall right in broad daylight. I am trying to cut down on using the AC this summer but now I have to lock the windows," said the amazed Heymann.
Barracuda Hits Bullseye
GRAND CAY, The Bahamas- Mary Ellen Moore and her family were vacationing in the Bahamas and after a few days of assuring their Iowa family that the ocean was safe the Moores had their kids loving the Carribbean waters. And then a barracuda jumped into Mary Ellen's bikini bottoms. "I don't think we'll ever get her in a bath tub or pool let alone the ocean. Poor thing doesn't want to leave Iowa, ever again," said her father, Bob.
Another Reason Not To Trust Cats
SUSSEX, England- A new study has found cats do control humans. If you've ever wondered who's in control, you or your cat, a new study points to the obvious. It's your cat. "The embedding of a human baby sounding cry within their purr which we normally associate with contentment is quite a subtle means of eliciting a response," said Karen McComb of the University of Sussex. "They know us. They know we can't help but respond to the human infant cries which they are mimmicking."
Bear Takes Out Motorcycle
YAKIMA, Washington- The Yakima County sheriff's office says a man riding a motorcycle collided with a bear crossing the road, who acted like it had the right of way. The Yakima-area man was taken to a hospital with serious rib injuries. The sheriff's office says the bear did not appear to be hurt and wandered off from the scene. While Greg Grossman lay on the road trying to gather himself he told deputies he saw the bear stare at him, shake his head, snort derisively, and then walk off.
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