March 22, 2017

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Patriots Jailed For Avenging Squirrel Attack
LINCOLN, Nebraska- Lincoln police said two men they saw shooting weapons at squirrels told officers they were trying to get revenge on the rodents for damaging their vehicles. The men, ages 45 and 55, were cited for discharging weapons in the city. Witnesses said they saw the two shooting the squirrels Friday with a blow gun and a bow and arrow in a neighborhood with children outside playing. Police said the men admitted trying to get back at the squirrels for chewing through their vehicles' brake lines.
Fear the Deer
MENOMINEE, Wisconsin- Just as some Milwaukee Bucks fans, watching game seven of the NBA playoffs, were cheering "Fear the deer," two deer came crashing through the doors of the Stout Ale House and disrupted business at the popular sports bar. The Bucks and the deer both lost in their efforts to defeat, either, the Atlanta Hawks or the angry patrons who wrestled the deer into submission and shoved the four-legged bucks back out into the parking lot. Use URL below to see the action.
Kamikaze Deer Only Succeeds In Killing Itself
WESTON, Wisconsin-One driver is lucky to be alive after a deer hits two cars and smashed through her windshield. Witnesses say a deer darted out in front of the first car and after hitting it got airborne and headed straight for the windshield of the second, traveling in the opposite direction. That driver managed to quickly duck as the doe went crashing through the driver's side windshield, landing in her backseat. Astoundingly, no major injuries were reported, except to the deer.
Mole Imitates Weiner, Ruins Honeymoon
SAN LUIS OBISPO, California- Lucy and Ray Hannah love the ocean and hiking in the nearby coastal range, which is why they decided to honeymoon here. "I am a devout Christian and saved myself till our love was blessed by God. And on my wedding night, just when the waiting was almost over I mistakenly grabbed that mole thing and now I don't know if I will ever get comfortable with 'that' part of married life," said the tearful bride. The couple was staying in a yert resort, whose circular tents are sometimes entered by small animals including the mole rat that caused the problems.
Super Sturgeon Un-Nerves Neenah
NEENAH, Wisconsin- There were rumors of a fresh water shark cruising the murky waters of Lake Winnebago. There was talk of a pet alligator that was dumped in the Fox River that not only survived the winter but thrived. But thanks to a gang of fearless fishermen it's now known the giant creature seen slithering under the docks of the Neenah marina and scaring boaters onto dry land was a record setting sturgeon. "There must be too many chemicals in our lakes and rivers, cuz' this sturgeon got crazy big," said veteran sturgeon fisherman Steve King.
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