April 29, 2017

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Hunter's Family Decides to Have Him Mounted
PADUCAH, Kentucky- Daniel "Shafter" Wasco was born into a family with a proud hunting tradition. Now, his family wants to honor that tradition by having a taxidermist mount his body along side the wild boar that killed him. A funeral and burial had originally been planned but patriarch D. Boone Wasco had a last minute change of heart and opted for the more unique approach of taxidermy. "Been told it ain't legal so we might end up doin'the urn thing, cuz' we already sold the casket. But Shafter got it from the boar on a hunt and the boar got it from Shafter and to put'em together forever would just say everything." State statutes do not make it clear a human mounting is illegal so officials said they will come up with additional language to make sure it is.
'Gator Is No Teacher's Pet
TAMPA, Florida- At a time of year when kids are thinking about getting out of school, one alligator is thinking about getting in. The 7 foot 'gator found its way into a middle school just as students were arriving for class. Gary Morse, a spokesman for Florida Fish and Wildlife said a custodian let the alligator inside early Monday morning. "The janitor thought it would be easier to apprehend the 'gator if it were in the school, but it just made it worse, in that the kids were coming in and there was an alligator running through the halls. He meant well, though." Morse would not elaborate on how the professional alligator wranglers handled the situation but said "There are certain techniques used that I won't go into for public safety reasons; I don't want people to try this at home," but joked that they involve a very quick human dressed as a chicken.
It's All In The Timing
MONTGOMERY, Ohio- An accident involving a deer has forced police to shut down the right lanes of northbound I-71 in Montgomery. Police say a deer jumped off the overpass onto a car that was traveling on I-71 around 11:30 a.m. A woman inside the car was injured and transported to an area hospital. The right two lanes of the interstate were blocked causing traffic to backup for several miles for much of the day. The stalled vehicles included trucks carrying produce that was ruined by sitting in the heat. A Happy Farms company spokesman said, "One of our VPs hit a deer this morning on the way to work. Now this. Makes you wonder."
Rabid Fox Rabidly Anti-Human
Tyrone, Georgia- A fox attacked a man outside an auto repair shop east of Atlanta, and it was caught on camera. Walter Wilson can be seen in the video kicking the fox away. "He just leaps, and it's amazing how they can leap, its like a cat," Wilson remembers. Wilson was bit in the arm, but the fox didn't stop trying to attack. The fox ran into the auto shop, then attacked a worker next door. A police officer on the scene shot the fox when it tried to charge him. See the action packed event at http://www.digtriad.com/news/thebuzz/story.aspx?storyid=142484&catid=259
Patriots Jailed For Avenging Squirrel Attack
LINCOLN, Nebraska- Lincoln police said two men they saw shooting weapons at squirrels told officers they were trying to get revenge on the rodents for damaging their vehicles. The men, ages 45 and 55, were cited for discharging weapons in the city. Witnesses said they saw the two shooting the squirrels Friday with a blow gun and a bow and arrow in a neighborhood with children outside playing. Police said the men admitted trying to get back at the squirrels for chewing through their vehicles' brake lines.
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