April 29, 2017

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Mountain Goat Kills Hiker For No Good Reason
PORT ANGELES, Washington- Rangers in Washington say a mountain goat killed a 63-year-old hiker in Olympic National Park. Robert H. Boardman was hiking with his wife Susan and their friend Pat Willits, and after stopping for lunch at an overlook the goat appeared, moved toward them and began acting aggressively. Boardman tried shooing him away but the goat attacked him, goring him in the thigh. The animal then hovered over Boardman as he lay bleeding, not allowing anyone to help the injured hiker. A park ranger finally chased the animal away, pelting it with rocks. If found the animal will be held responsible or killed according to officials. Before he was gored, Boardman joked the goat must be angry because the panini sandwich he was eating had goat cheese on it.
Car Eating Rabbits Attack Denver
DENVER, Colorado- Denver International Airport has a problem with rabbits that eat cars. Dexter Meyer told KUSA-TV after he parked his brand new Volkswagen Jetta at the airport it was eaten. When he got back nine days later, he says, "I turned on the ignition and all these lights started flashing. I took the car to the dealership and they said my wiring had been munched." The service manager asked him if the car had been at the airport and told him "We've had a significant number of problems with rabbits eating through wiring out there," Meyer says. "Why would rabbits want to eat my wiring? Get more minerals in their diet? Good thing they didn't go after my brakes."
New Type of Camouflage
HAYLEY, Idaho- If deer and elk were knocking down your garden fences and eating your tomatoes you might be pushed to come up with novel ways to fight back. But would you think to trick the antlered freeloaders into not seeing you as a threat because you're sitting in a hot tub, drinking a beer? You would if you were Rudolf Reber. "When they saw me go running into the house for my gun they knew to get out of there. They even knew to watch for me looking out the windows and if the back door opened they took off. But if I'm sitting in the hot tub, they don't do anything. I've popped quite a few of 'em from here and they still come around. So, I'm in the tub a lot, till all the tomatoes come in."
Big Cat Loves Marin
SAN ANSELMO, California- Police responded to a mountain lion sighting in the Raymond Avenue neighborhood about 10 p.m., Saturday. A man reported he saw the big cat on his street and watched as it disappeared up a fire trail. Police arrived but didn't see the animal, then walked door to door notifying residents on how to prevent deadly encounters with mountain lions--do not feed deer, because they attract lions; keep pets inside at night when cougars are most active; and bring pet food inside to avoid attracting lion prey. Police Sgt. Charles Billelo said "Anyone who encounters a mountain lion should not run; instead, face the animal, make noise and try to look bigger by waving your arms or other objects. If attacked, fight back. Don't try to negotiate or make friends. This animal is not a vegan and won't be impressed with your Whole Earth catalog philosophy. It just wants to eat you and go home."
Sharks Attack Seat of Government
SCOTLAND, Maryland- Willy Dean was on the Potomac River in a 22-foot skiff Tuesday morning when he realized there was something both abnormal and enormous in his net. It was a deadly 8-foot bull shark, a 300-pound killer swimming off the shores of Point Lookout State Park. "When I first seen it, it was like 'Jaws'. I said we need a bigger boat!" Dean said Thursday. "It looked huge. I didn't know how we were gonna get it out. I've been fishing here over 30 years, and it's the first time I've even seen one." But it wasn't the only one caught on the river during what has become Shark Week on the Potomac. Thomas Crowder, a commercial fisherman said he and his crew were cutting a net when an even bigger bull shark was trapped. "Willy gets one, and then all of the sudden we get one. It's just bizarre. Maybe they're terrorists on the way to attack Washington." Bull sharks, among the world's most dangerous fish for humans, ranking right up there with great whites and tiger sharks, are unique in that they can tolerate fresh river water.
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