March 22, 2017

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Wolves Chase Cop on Freeway
MOSCOW, Russia- A police officer had to dive for cover when a pack of wild wolves started chasing him on an urban freeway. The shocked officer had just pulled over a motorist on the highway, then suddenly, spotted a pack of maurauding wolves behind him and had to jump into the car he had just stopped. The officer had to stay inside until the 10-strong pack of wolves decided to leave, during which time he opted to not give the driver a ticket. Wolves have been in the news in Russia including an attack in which wolves charged shoppers in a Moscow supermarket parking lot, then scavenging grocery bags dropped by the scared city dwellers. The grey wolves appear to have overcome any fear of humans in their search for food. Some older Moscovites believe they might also be communists because they all did equal work in the attacks.
Mountain Goat Kills Hiker For No Good Reason
PORT ANGELES, Washington- Rangers in Washington say a mountain goat killed a 63-year-old hiker in Olympic National Park. Robert H. Boardman was hiking with his wife Susan and their friend Pat Willits, and after stopping for lunch at an overlook the goat appeared, moved toward them and began acting aggressively. Boardman tried shooing him away but the goat attacked him, goring him in the thigh. The animal then hovered over Boardman as he lay bleeding, not allowing anyone to help the injured hiker. A park ranger finally chased the animal away, pelting it with rocks. If found the animal will be held responsible or killed according to officials. Before he was gored, Boardman joked the goat must be angry because the panini sandwich he was eating had goat cheese on it.
Car Eating Rabbits Attack Denver
DENVER, Colorado- Denver International Airport has a problem with rabbits that eat cars. Dexter Meyer told KUSA-TV after he parked his brand new Volkswagen Jetta at the airport it was eaten. When he got back nine days later, he says, "I turned on the ignition and all these lights started flashing. I took the car to the dealership and they said my wiring had been munched." The service manager asked him if the car had been at the airport and told him "We've had a significant number of problems with rabbits eating through wiring out there," Meyer says. "Why would rabbits want to eat my wiring? Get more minerals in their diet? Good thing they didn't go after my brakes."
New Type of Camouflage
HAYLEY, Idaho- If deer and elk were knocking down your garden fences and eating your tomatoes you might be pushed to come up with novel ways to fight back. But would you think to trick the antlered freeloaders into not seeing you as a threat because you're sitting in a hot tub, drinking a beer? You would if you were Rudolf Reber. "When they saw me go running into the house for my gun they knew to get out of there. They even knew to watch for me looking out the windows and if the back door opened they took off. But if I'm sitting in the hot tub, they don't do anything. I've popped quite a few of 'em from here and they still come around. So, I'm in the tub a lot, till all the tomatoes come in."
Big Cat Loves Marin
SAN ANSELMO, California- Police responded to a mountain lion sighting in the Raymond Avenue neighborhood about 10 p.m., Saturday. A man reported he saw the big cat on his street and watched as it disappeared up a fire trail. Police arrived but didn't see the animal, then walked door to door notifying residents on how to prevent deadly encounters with mountain lions--do not feed deer, because they attract lions; keep pets inside at night when cougars are most active; and bring pet food inside to avoid attracting lion prey. Police Sgt. Charles Billelo said "Anyone who encounters a mountain lion should not run; instead, face the animal, make noise and try to look bigger by waving your arms or other objects. If attacked, fight back. Don't try to negotiate or make friends. This animal is not a vegan and won't be impressed with your Whole Earth catalog philosophy. It just wants to eat you and go home."
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