Squirrel Causes Man To Lose Security Deposit
ROSHOLT, Wisconsin- Ernie Berard is sticking by his story that a squirrel jumped on his head and forced him to drive his motorcycle into his apartment and ruin the floors but his landlord, Emil Booher, is not buying it. Berard claims, "It was warm enough to get the hog out for the first ride this year and I was having a great time, then that squirrel jumps me as I was pulling up and I ended up busting through my own front door and doing donuts in living room trying to shake the damn thing off my scalp." Booher, though, isn't buying it, noting that Berard's apartment is on the second floor.
Baled Up Badger Chases Farmer Off Farm
CRABKNEE, Oklahoma- David Gormley thinks he might give up smoking after stopping his tractor, leaning up against a freshly mowed and rolled bale of hay and coming face to face with an angry badger. "Scared the hell out of me. I don't think I'll sleep again," reports the fearful Gormley. Making matters worse, Gormley figured it would be wise to cut the badger free before it either chewed through the bindings or died and ruined his hay. Unfortunately, the angry badger chased Gormley, literally, into the next county. "I ran 1500 yards all the way into Puckett County. Figured it would stop when I crossed Turner Highway but it didn't stop chasing me till I climbed up onto a UPS truck in the Wal-Mart parking lot."
Jet-Bird Freaks Out Senior Citizen Center
MONTGOMERY, Alabama- Workers at a home for senior citizens had a lot of excited residents on their hands after they thought they saw the world's first hybrid bird jet. "We tried our darndest to convince the residents there was no such thing as a bird jet but some of them had to be sedated for awhile. They couldn't understand why we wouldn't call this in to the police," said Debbie Kranzusch, a worker at the home.
Some Species Just Get Along
APPALACA, Florida- Racism has always been a part of American human life but not so in the animal world. A black deer has been playing with the beige deer in Bob and Charlene Weber's yard all year and getting along nicely. "We could all learn something from these deer," said the local homeowner, who noted, "I don't think this is due to busing."
Piles of Doo Ruin Vacation
CORNWALL, England- Like a scene out of Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds," a massive flock of starlings are wreaking havoc on a campground in Cornwall. To the horror of vacationers the birds have covered the park in up to seven inches of droppings. "These heaps of doo are acidic and the sheer quantity is phenomenal. The roads are absolutely covered and the trees and cabins are lagged," managing director Mike Finnigan exclaimed. Every night the starlings descend on the park and drop such large quantities that the ground below looks like a gravel walkway. "Some first time visitors thought they were taking the path to the dining hall but stepped in about 4 inches of it. They packed up and left without dinner," said the worried Finnigan, who added, "The people staying in tents were the most argy-bargy over it. Can't say I blame them. They got trapped in there over night and we couldn't dig them out till about 10 the next day."