...And Pay The Price
...I had fish scales in between my teeth. I so wanted to floss but I had to sit still why they stitched me up. Once I get home from the hospital I am going to brush my teeth, then heal up and then get back out there and get that beast that got me."
[photo copyright www.billkonway.com
Visit Bill's site for other great pictures]
Dogs Copy Humans And Line Up For Bathroom
MONTGOMERY, Alabama- Steve Kranzusch loves to save dogs but only has so much space in his yard. "We take in every single dog from the pound we can but they turn our yard into a mine field of dead spots. Now, that I have taught them to pee on the rocks we can take in dozens. As long as we steal enough plastic bags for the poop out of the bag recycling bin at the grocery store we can keep the grass from dying."
Hurt Dog Shows Up At Emergency Room
FARMINGTON, New Mexico- The patient was only slightly injured when he limped into the hospital. The only problem was, he was a dog. When the automatic doors at San Juan Medical Center's emergency room slid open, the pooch walked in, blood on his nose and paw, and a puncture hole in one leg. Animal control officer Robin Loev suspects the wound was from the bite of another dog. Loev says the German shepherd appeared to be intelligent and calm and knew enough to go to the right place. "They live with us, why wouldn't they start thinking and behaving like us? I think they should be covered under health care reform," said the devoted dog lover.
Now They Have Helmets!
HONOLULU, Hawaii- City officials have tried to rid parks and neighborhoods of marauding squirrels for years, with little luck. With few natural predators on the island the rodents have proliferated. "And now they're wearing helmets," exclaimed Park and Rec Commissioner Sarah Gobney. "Before, if you found one in the house or garage you could stun 'em with a broom or rake but now, if they all learn to wear coconuts, we'll have to move up to guns."
Can Eagles Carry Off Dogs
BEMIDJI, Minnesota- DNR officials are looking into a story from northern Minnesota that 51 dog collars were found in a recently fallen eagle's nest. Ornathologist David Edwards said "Eagles can lift about eight pounds max but when they can't carry it off they eat something where they kill it, including your dog right there on your sun deck," reported the raptor expert. But would they take a Yorkie's collar back to their nest as a trophy? "It appears they do take dog collars to their nest, but as a trophy? That would suggest a hatred of dogs or their human owners which is not possible. But just to be safe, if you live near Bemidji, don't let your pocket pets outside alone."
Monster Rattler' Terrifies TownHomes
ST. AUGUSTINE SHORES, Florida- As if the Florida real estate market didn't have enough trouble, a KB Homes townhouse development got some additional bad news-it's home to giant rattlesnakes. Seven and eight foot snakes with enough venom to kill 48 average adults or 62 average senior citizens have been showing up around the property. "We'll find the daddy or mommy with the super sized DNA and this will be over," said KB spokesman Sue Wadel. But potential buyers have stayed away since the pictures of the giant vipers hit the news. "Once the nest is found this will be over. And we're offering a big bonus to any buyer who does get bit or brings one in," added Wadel.
Feline Crustacean Pact Suspected
BATON ROUGE, Louisiana- Can two different species of animals negotiate a cooperation pact? Can invertebrates and mammals speak to one another? Can a crustacean and a feline join forces to ruin a human vacation? If you ask Michelle Weiss and her family, the answers are Yes, Yes and Yes. According to the frazzled vacationers from Madison, WI they saw a feral cat with a crayfish riding on its head dash across a dock, jump into the row boat they rented in Hot Springs, AK and hurriedly scratch at something near the motor before being shooed off. Later that afternoon, while fishing on Lake Lepoota, "All hell broke loose," said the frustrated Michelle. "My husband smokes and tossed a butt and suddenly there was a fire ball and we're in the water. I am sure the cat and crayfish cut a leak in a hose. Why else were they there?"
Rehabbed Bear Turns on Human Helpers
CAMBY, Oregon- Mike Abel has removed many bears from city dumps and ex-urban areas when they come in contact with humans. And to prepare them for a return to more remote areas he also tries to reacquant them with finding food as wild bears should. But apparently they don't like him for it. "Oh, I was one of those types who believed if you showed an animal love they would love you back," said the recovering naturalist. "But after seeing the look on that bear's face, I won't go near anything bigger than a chihuahua. It was awful. I rolled up into a ball like Ghandi and that bear beat me like a Viking on the loose in Ireland."
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"After this, I Will Have to Adopt!"
SEVILLE, Spain- Gilberto Morin represents the 23rd generation of his family to dominate his sport, and the only child of renowned matador Alejandro Morin. And unless surgeons can salvage some sperm from Gilberto, the Morin lineage will have ended. "My family has done a lot of damage to the bull species over the years and now the bulls have put an end to us," said Morin. "That whole day, every bull I faced seemed to be going for my cajones. Never saw anything like it, but finally El Jefe (the bull that caused he injury) got it done," claimed the confirmed bachelor.