February 23, 2017

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Innocent Elephant Hunter Trampled By Horny Elephant
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CHEWORE, Zimbabwe- Professional game hunter, Ian Gibson, was trampled to death by a young bull elephant while leading a hunt in the lower Zambezi Valley. Gibson’s tracker indicated the elephant was in “musth” – when the urge to mate goes into overdrive and overly aggressive behavior is common, but Gibson didn't heed the warning. Seconds later the bull spotted them and charged. The hunting party got off one errant shot before Gibson met his death. A spokesman for the tour company employing Gibson said "Gibbo' was the most decent man I have ever known and certainly didn't do anything to deserve this."
"Blinkers Is Missing"
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CHAPATOULEE, Florida- Losing a pet is a heart break for anyone but to lose your cat and then have to watch the animal that ate "Blinkers"digest it for days has been doubly difficult for Sue Wadel. "I saw Blinkers run off after something in the weeds and when he don't come back I go out and see a python with a Blinkers sized bulge in his stomach and I just knew." But the biggest blow may have come when 6 year old Cyndy Wadel saw the snake and said "Mom, can we keep it?" Then little Cyndy added "Oh yes, I think Blinkers is missing." A tearful Wadel said "I didn't have the heart to tell my little baby Blinkers was right there."
Albino Or New Species
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SAUGATUCK, Michigan- Cross breeding animals has been done for centuries. Some combinations make perfect sense, like a horse and a donkey to create a mule. So, did someone cross a cow and a deer or is the youngster that appeared in Ray Kennelly's back yard an albino deer, a naturally occurring but aberrant individual? "If this fawn is female and has an utter... and can run and jump like a deer, I will keep her away from barbed wire fences," said Kennelly, who intends to raise the orphaned fawn just to see what happens.
"This Is Why I Hate Cats"
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POCATELLO, Idaho- Pet doors offer pet owners great convenience because their cats and dogs can let themselves outside. The problem has always been what else the never locked swinging doors allow in. For Tom and Bonnie Brever that something else turned out to be a bear. "We made two mistakes. Putting in a pet door for the cat and putting the cat food near the pet door. Well, I gave in to getting a cat, so three mistakes, but I was having coffee one morning, hear a grunt, turn around and there's a bear's head a few feet from my ankles. I threw my coffee across the room, stumbled away, pointed at the bear head and yelled "Bonnie, that is why I hate cats." The hungry and curious black bear looked at the Brevers for awhile, sniffed around and after not being able to reach the cat food with its tongue, left. "I got rid of the cat door later that day. But we're still keeping the cat, I guess."
Kitty Kitty Bang Bang
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BATES TOWNSHIP, Michigan - Joeseph Stanton was cooking in his kitchen when he was shot by his cat, Mr. Blinky. The counter walking feline knocked Stanton's handgun onto the floor, discharging the weapon, the shot striking Stanton in his lower torso. State police said Stanton was cooking home made venison sausage at the time and when officers asked why he had a loaded gun sitting where his cat could come in contact with it Stanton replied "Turn down the sausage and get me to the hospital." When asked for further comment neither Stanton nor Mr. Blinky could be reached.
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