November 24, 2017

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Sharks Vacation in California
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LAGUNA VISTA, California- Sharks exist in all oceans of the world but have never been much of a problem in Southern California waters. Until now that is. Swimmers have been bitten recently by adult great white sharks as well as other species and swarms of sharks are now commonly seen off Southern California's most popular beaches. "If swimmers could see what we see from the helicopter they'd never get out of the car," said Los Angeles County Lifeguard Patrol pilot Jimmy Morin. "When we fly up and down the beach we radio in Luca Brazzi conditions. They all are swimming with the fishes... the big ones."
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"Don't Lie to Mommy, There Aren't Four Bears in Our Tree"
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WAUSAU, Wisconsin- Parenting is hard enough but it's especially hard when there really are four bear cubs in your tree according to Mary Beth Holtz. "I demand my kids tell the truth so I guess I am hyper sensitive to exaggerations and the other day my youngest, Annie, tells me to come look, there's four bears in our tree. And I start quoting the Bible and telling her not to lie and... well, when I finally had it with her insisting I walked into the living room... there were four bears in our tree. Now Annie thinks she can tell me anything and I have to believe it. This is a nightmare."
Never Take a Crab to a Knife Fight
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LONDON, England- A video purported to show a knife wielding crab defending itself from a human trying to catch it is now said to be a hoax. After the video went viral reporters tried to chase down the story and discovered that the video was more of a setup than anything else. "The boys in the kitchen thought it would be fun to give a crab a knife and video tape it and boy did it work. But here's the thing, now that crab knows how to use a knife. What have we taught it? And could it teach other crabs to use knives? This whole thing may back fire on us," said restaurant manager Kei Hajj from the location where the prank video was shot.
Ostrich Harrasses Cyclists
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CAPE OF GOOD HOPE, South Africa- If you have ever wondered if world class cyclists are faster than an ostrich you finally have your answer- cyclists are faster. Head-cam footage taken by team member Oleksiy Mishchenko shows the bizarre moment an ostrich appears and angrily sprints after his training group. "I heard a noise and saw this ostrich coming up and we were going 50km/h (31 mph). Luckily it stopped before we ran into a dead end coming up because that thing was pissed we were faster than it was and with those spurs(on their feet) they can tear you up. But if they made bikes for ostriches I'd love to see what they could do. Damn thing was impressive."
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