March 22, 2017

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Eagle Drops Fawn, Causes Outage
MISSOULA, Montana- According to witnesses, a recent power outage was triggered by a dead deer on a power line. Lee Bridges said when the power went out, she went outside and noticed an eagle perched atop a nearby spruce tree staring at the dead fawn. According to Bridges, the eagle must have dropped the fawn on the power line, triggering the power outage. "It could have dropped it by mistake but it just stared at that fawn like it was waiting for it to get done cooking. When the crew got the fawn off the line it did have grill marks on it so maybe the eagle was trying to barbecue."
Baby Loves Sausage
RHINELANDER, Wisconsin- Like any baby, Kurt Vander Elsen Jr., laughs at lots of things. But the thing that makes little Kurt go absolutely wild is watching his Dad make venison sausage. "I think we are going to have to hunt illegally out of season just to keep Junior happy," said Kurt Sr. "We tried to run some store bought meat through the sausage maker and he didn't like it. It has to be wild game or little Kurt is not happy. And I don't think the DNR is going to buy the excuse I was huntin' out of season to keep my kid from crying."
Shark Learns..
PERTH, Australia- A group of marine biologists learned something about the great white shark the hard way-at least one of them can picks locks. While filming from a protective shark cage, cinematographer Carl Liebe was confronted by a shark that stuck it's snout into his enclosure. "That's happened a thousand times before and didn't bother me," said Liebe.
Squirrels and Snakes Short Circuit City
BETHESDA, Maryland- Lights went out in part of Bethesda on Sunday, and it was all because of a squirrel. Squirrels are a significant cause of power outages, and the utilities make substantial efforts to keep them out of substations and off transmission wires. Repair crews "did find the remains of an electrocuted squirrel in our switch gear," spokesman Art Anderson said. It was at least the second outage attributed to wildlife in the metropolitan area in recent weeks. On Easter Sunday, the intrusion of a snake into a substation in the Upper Marlboro area cut power to about 6,800 homes and businesses. Easter Mass was halted at St. Bernards Catholic Church with some parishioners thinking the flickering lights meant something.
Police Shoot Lawn Ornament
INDEPENDENCE, Missouri- A resident called police claiming his children spotted an alligator while playing in the woods. Officers responded and shot the reptile as it lurked menacingly in the weeds leading to a nearby pond. It wasn't until the second shot bounced off the 'gator's head that the officers realized they had mortally wounded a concrete lawn ornament. Tom Gentry, a police spokesman said, "The first clue was the thing didn't move after being shot in the head, twice. But we now know our officers can hit a non-moving object the size of an alligator two out of two times." The concrete alligator was put there to scare kids off the owner's property. Before leaving the officers suggested a No Trespassing sign be used instead.
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