November 24, 2017

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

"Junior Is Not Going To Miss His Deer"
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HOT SPRINGS, Arkansas- Some hunters follow the rules, some hunters bend the rules, but Jerry Kutchnik throws out the rules and says "My boy is going to bag a deer before the age of ten and I don't care what kind of weapon it takes to get him there. When he gets older, or if we get him that eye surgery deal, I'll make Junior use something a little more sportin' but right now I'm giving him something he just can't miss with." The local office of the ATF has been contacted by neighbors and is looking into the matter.
Hammerheads Hammer Vacationers
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CHRISTO DE LAS CRUCES, Mexico- The average experienced scuba diver gets 45 minutes or so from a tank of air. And the inexperienced Richard C. Johnson family of Houston, Texas needed all 45 and then some on their first dive during a Cozumel vacation. "We told the guide we had never done this before but they said no problemo. Suddenly we were sitting on the bottom and believe it or not we could tell the gestures the guy was making meant 'Breathe really slowly.' We did. Every hammerhead in the world seemed to pass by. By the time we could surface we were holding our breath."
Bear Tells Hunter To Leave Deer Alone
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LAC DU FLAMBEAU, Wisconsin- Dennis Corrigan was about to climb up into his deer stand when he heard noise coming from above. When he looked up he saw, sitting on the perch he intended to shoot deer from, a very unwilling to move black bear. "We looked at each other for awhile and it was obvious that bear did not intend to move. So I went home and mowed the lawn."
"They Just Love Each Other"
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WHITE CAP, Vermont- Generally, raptors and water fowl are not seen together or treat each other very well when they are in the same space. But an eagle and a swan that frequent Diebold Lake are not just friendly, they seem to be in love. "What it looks like they're doing up there is, well... what else can you call it? They're trying to make little eagle-swan babies," said birder Nathan Nayman. "I have seen them flying around, flirting with one another," said the amateur ornithologist, "and it's progressed to this. You just can't mistake that position, that motion... it's multi-species bird sex. I've never seen it before but recognized it immediately."
Ball-Peen Hammer Saves Woman From Murderous Deer
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PRESTON, Idaho- Sue Panter was screaming to God to not let her die when Michael Vaughan and his 17-year-old daughter Alexis rushed in and saved her life. Panter had gone for a morning jog when a deer came out of a corn field and started running along side her for an eerie amount of time. "It ran parallel with me with its head lowered so I knew I was going down. It was just a matter of time," Panter said. Then the deer charged at Panter, throwing her off the road into the corn field. Panter played dead, hoping the diabolical deer would quit piercing her legs with its antlers but "When it stuck its antler through my neck I decided, if I don't fight back I'm dead." And that's when Michael and Alexis showed up. Alexis jumped out and started punching the deer which responding by turning on her Dad, stabbing him in the leg over and over. So, Alexis grabbed a hammer from the car and bonked the deer on its noggin until it ran off into the cornfield. Fish and Game officials say if people confront this deer they should not try to kill it themselves but if they are going to using a hammer instead of a gun is safer for the public at large.
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