April 29, 2017

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Urban Coyote Snatches Daschund
MADISON, Wisconsin- A family is still looking for their dog that was snatched by an urban coyote. At 5:30 a.m. Mary Lee Wagnus let the family's Dachshund, Buster, out into the yard, left briefly and returned in time to see a coyote run off with Buster in its mouth. Experts say Madison has an endemic coyote population and the nocturnal animals are well-adjusted to urban life, coming out from parks and other areas at dawn and dusk. "They may not be viewing another dog as food," added Patrick Comfert from Public Health of Dane County. "They may be viewing it as competition for territory or a mate." Wagnus finds the idea that her little Buster could be perceived as competition for an amorous male coyote as insult to injury. "Old Buster could barely get himself back up our steps let alone service a coyote."
Buck Hates Christmas and Capitalism
BOUNTIFUL, Utah- Parents with little kids know they spend much of December waiting for Santa Claus to show up. Marla and Casey Keller's kids got their expected visit from Santa but a five-foot buck got inside the house, too. Not long after Santa stopped the deer came in and stomped all over the packages Santa had just left turning them into a pile of paper and ribbon and toy remains. "When you're waiting for Santa's reindeer to land on your roof, and one of them comes through your basement window, well, our kids are not gonna forget it," said Casey Keller. The buck tripped on a basement window-well and crashed though the egress window, then into the room where all the presents were. Marla said, "Our kids now think Santa travels with some pretty clumsy reindeer." Officers with Wildlife Resources came and had to put the deer down to get it out. To keep the kids from seeing it Casey drove them over to his parents but on the way another deer jumped in front of the car and hit them broadside. "I've had enough of these deer, I can tell you that."
Viral Bear Waving Video Could Backfire
SEQUIM, Washington- A video of a young girl waving to a giant Kodiak bear at the Olympic Game Farm in Sequim has gone viral on the internet because to her astonishment, and delight, the bear just as excitedly, waves back. This particular bear retired to the Olympic facility after a long career in show business, but zoologist Dieter Hanterschaum worries if kids grow up thinking all bears are as friendly as this one it could lead to disaster down the road. "If some kid on a field trip comes across a wild bear and waves at it, that is tantamount to saying, 'Eat me.'"
Deer Insist On Going Fishing
SITKA, Alaska- Tom Satre had not gotten out on his boat all summer and fall but finally got a break in his schedule for one Saturday out fishing. Only one problem, four deer swam out to his boat before he got a line wet and demanded to come aboard. "Strangest thing I have ever seen. Four deer headed straight for me and banged on the swim platform till I let them on board. What do you do then? I headed in and got them off the boat and called the wife to tell her about it. She told me she just broke the garbage disposal, so I headed home. Those deer saved a bunch a fish from being caught," said the frustrated occasional fisherman.
Whale Attacks Only Dentist In Town
KIPPERING, Alaska- A whale nearly ruined the teeth of everyone in the tiny village of Kippering. The only dentist working in a 50 mile radius, Dr. Peter Puudnaut, was out kayaking when a grey whale nearly swallowed him whole. Puudnaut said when he was in the giant maw of the whale "My only thought was, 'Row like like a mother, you stupid son of a %&@#!." He then added, "As I was dropping into the whales mouth for some reason I thought 'If I die who is going to fix Nanook Tibute's abscess at 4?' Then I said, 'Paddle, schmuck.'" Dr. Puudnaut escaped being a human herring by fractions of a second and the teeth of Kippering and the surrounding area will continue to be served.
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