April 29, 2017

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Deer Takes Bath, Ruins Bathroom
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AUBURN, Indiana- "This is crazy," Chris Coleman exclaimed. An adult deer, jumped through Coleman's window in her front door, went straight into her bathroom, closed the door and jumped into the bathtub. Three officers entered the residence, and said when they opened the bathroom door, the deer was laying in the tub, filled with water. Only the deers head was visible. The officers got the deer out but the bathroom was a mess. "Its absolutely crazy," she said. "Couldn't the damn thing rinse off in a river, instead of screwing up my bathroom? I had bridge club coming over and my bathroom had deer hair all over the place."
America's Dairyland Attacked By Rebelling Dairy Cows
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MADISON, Wisconsin- A Muscoda man trampled by a stubborn cow has been released from UW Hospital. Sheldy J. Page, 20, was helping to load cows and calves onto a trailer for transport when one of the cows refused to enter the chute, spun around, kicked and ran over Page, who was in just his second day on the job. "She kicked me in the back of head and then I was stepped on," Page said. "She decided to come right through me." He was taken to UW Hospital where he received four staples in his head and "is pretty sore." It's the second farm animal-related incident this month near Avoca. Alfred Albrecht, 78, was killed by a bull on his farm on April 1. "I'd hate to see the price of cheese if this cow on farmer violence continues," said Professor Richard C. Johnson from the UW-Madison Agriculture Department.
WILD PARROTS ARE LEARNING ENGLISH
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PERTH-Australia- Escaped pet parrots in Australia are teaching wild birds English, including some unsavory words. The Australian Museum says it has received a number of reports from people who say they've heard wild parrots speaking to them, often cursing or repeating greetings like "hello cockie." Naturalist Martyn Robinson told Australian Geographic that some of these words will likely be passed down through generations in wild flocks. "If the parents are talkers and they produce chicks, their chicks are likely to pick up what the parents are able to say," he said. "From there, who knows? I hope they like humans enough not to bag on us as we walk by. Crikee, 'Pick it up, you bag of goo,'would be annoying!"
Peeping Tom Deer Has Town On Edge
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NEW CASTLE, Indiana- A sheriff's deputy responded to a complaint about a deer who was "looking through windows" and refusing to leave the front yards of a very nervous New Castle neighborhood. Authorities were called after a resident called 911 about the window-peeping deer. The deputy reported he found the deer to be "extremely friendly, to the point that subjects were able to approach the deer and pet it." However, some residents reported the animal also "sometimes bites and attacks," he added. "A few folks said 'This deer sucks you in. Acts nice, let's you pet it, then takes a run at you when your defenses are down.'"
Tortoise Wants Out
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TATTACOOCHIE, Florida- It's hard enough to keep a zoo running but when your tortoise escapes because your fences aren't tall enough, you might just have to give up. Which is what Ann Page, director of the county zoo, did when she saw Zeke, the tortoise, climb out of his pen. "Kids used to love to pet Zeke. He was a big attraction, helped keep us from going under financially. When I saw Zeke climbing out I just snapped and threw in the towel." The Zoo board has filed for Chapter 11 protection. Zeke's whereabouts are unknown.
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