January 21, 2018

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Skateboarder Tackled By Deer
GOLDEN, Colorado- The Buffalo Bill Downhill is a treacherous skateboarding race and while buffaloes are not considered among the obstacles as skaters charge down a steep mountain road at break-neck speeds, deer ought to be. Ryan Vitale was racing downhill at 45 mph as he was tackled by a deer. The incident occurred just as Vitale was approaching the 180-degree turn called "The Gooch." Vitale said "What was the point of that? We only get the Gooch to ourselves once per year and a damn deer has to get across the road that bad right then! Like, what was so happening on the other side, dude? I mean, stay off the road deer! "
83 Year Old Woman Gouged By Beaver
FALLS CHURCH, Virginia- An elderly Virginia woman was savagely attacked by a 50-pound beaver after swimming in a Fairfax County lake. Lillian Peterson, 83, explained "I was coming out of the water and this beaver came after me," Peterson said. "He took a big chunk out of my leg before I tried to fight him off." A nearby fisherman rushed to Peterson’s aid and bludgeoned the beaver over the head with a heavy branch. Peterson has no doubt what would have happened to her had the angler not come to her rescue. "I would have been dead," she said. Tests revealed that the giant rodent was not only rabid but biologist Buck Holtz pointed out, "Predators always go for the sick, young or elderly. I think this beaver knew what it was doing. I'm not saying all beavers are feeding on humans, but we have to consider the possibility to them, we are just meat."
Couple Raising Grizzly Has Neighbors On Edge
VANCOUVER, Canada- VANCOUVER, Canada- Mark and Dawn Dumas have transformed their house into a real bear den. The couple is raising an 18-month-old grizzly bear named Billy in their Vancouver home.
But It Can't Hold Pool Cue Without Help
Their crews see Billy and head down the street on the lawn tractors and never come back,” said the frustrated neighbor. “Mark and Dawn even offered to host a neighborhood watch meeting in their house and I said, ‘Dude, you have a bear playing pool 10 feet away from where we’re supposed to sit. What if Billy sees us and thinks snack?’ ”
"Nice Kitty... Oh, God, Please Be A Nice Kitty"
BERLIN, Germany- A tiger escaped its enclosure at Cologne Zoo in western Germany and killed a zoo keeper before being shot dead by the zoo's director, police said. The tiger slipped through an open gate and fatally attacked the 43-year-old keeper. "It appears the gate wasn't properly shut," the zoo director told the Associated Press. The Siberian tiger was a 4-year-old male called Altai that fathered three cubs previously but was currently having trouble mating with a new, diffident female arrival.
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