April 29, 2017

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

...Fishermen
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PANAMA CITY, Panama- ...slipped again, causing the captain to tumble in the fly bridge cockpit. In a fatal mistake, Pequeno accidentally grabbed the throttle as he fell and jammed it wipe open. The boat roared in reverse right into waves which came crashing over the transom and eventually sinking it. "The timing that fish had was incredible. He tugged hard twice at just the right time and down we went," said sport angler Bob Webber.
Baby Moose Ruins Snowmobiler's Season
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ISHPEMING, Michigan- These days not every winter is good for snowmobilers so when enough white stuff is on the ground, riders are anxious to get out and make the most of it. Except when you are suddenly attacked by a baby moose. Then you may have a change of heart, like Stuart Hill, did. "I was minding my own business, going down the trail, suddenly this baby moose appears and I stop 'cuz it's cute and all and I don't want to hurt it and then runs up and attacks me, like really goes for me... it fractured my arm in 3 spots. I should have run the damn thing over."
Squirrel Likes The Indoors Better
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MONTGOMERY, Alabama- Many homeowners know squirrels occasionally come in through chimneys or claw gaps in a soffet to take up residence in the attic. But at least one squirrel has learned how to open the door and just make itself at home. Ginni White told everyone who would listen that a squirrel was letting itself into her house but nobody would believed her. That is, until she caught the unwelcome visitor red handed. "I don't know exactly what it does in here but my long distance bill is higher than normal and I don't recognize lots of numbers on it. But I am afraid to call the numbers and say, 'Have you ever gotten a call from a squirrel?'"
A Real Snake On a Plane
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PORT MORESBY, Papua New Guinea- A 10 ft. python battled to retain its grip on the wing as a plane it was flying on made its way between the Australian town of Cairns and Port Moresby in Papua New Guinea. The determined reptile held on for the whole 1 hr 50 min flight. The snake's body was hammered against the engine, leaving blood stains on the white paint as passengers watched it struggle to find a safer spot. Flight attendant Laura Gomez reported that the passengers stayed fairly calm but more than a few people were very tentative when looking into seat back pockets, over head bins and especially using the bathroom.
"Young Hitler" Scares Animal Lover/Vegetarian
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BOSTON, Massachusetts- Co-workers Derk Asmunder and Lilliam Lum never got along, but nobody thought the animosity would lead to a lawsuit. For years, Lum, a strict vegan and SPCA member, found it offensive that Asmunder "revels in eating meat in front of me. One day, he looked at his sandwich and said, 'Mmmm... puppy is good,' and I nearly passed out." That day, in a conversation with the Human Resources Department, Lum called Asmunder a "Young Hitler." The next day Asmunder showed up sporting a new haircut and eventually a mustache, which according to Lum is all designed to annoy her. HR specialist Kendra Saddlen said, "Who would have thought a love of animals and a mustache could put us all in court but here we go."
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