Boston, MASS.- Cheerleader Debbie Brooks is furious with the mice in the cheerleader locker room. "One of these little %$#@*&^ chewed up part of the clasp on my top, so, like, the thing flew apart right on TV and my parents were watching... it was so embarrassing. My boob went Janet Jackson but it wasn't my fault. It was the mice." Team officials have suspended Miss Brooks pending an investigation.

S.Wales,NEW ZEALAND-A giant porker got to be too much for Caroline Hayes, 63, making her a prisoner in her own home by refusing to let her leave her farm house until she fed him. "When I ran out of food he wouldn't let me outside to use the loo," said Ms. Hayes, whose farm doesn't have indoor plumbing. The giant pig would keep her inside for days on end until friends came by with more bananas, the hungry porker's favourite food. Wildlife officials captured the huge pig which was gladly accepted by a piggery who intends to use him as their lead stud.

Galesburg, ILLINOIS- Michael and Pascal Mirica can't get a deer out of their bed. Their doors were open one day to move some furniture and the doe walked right past them and has never left except to eat and relieve itself. "And then it's right back onto our bed," said the frustrated couple. Neighbors have suggested they use force but the couple seem trapped by their religious convictions-she is a Quaker and he is a Christian Scientist so they can't use violence or get medical help if the use of force goes wrong.

Sacramento, CALIFORNIA- Keller Petting Zoo has been forced to close due to horny kangaroos. Owner Bob Keller pleaded with city officials to wait until he could do the necessary surgeries on his male kangaroos but pressure from parents groups prevailed.

Buckholtz, WISCONSIN - Scott Taylor got mauled by a bear while turkey hunting last Saturday. But the real surprise came when the revenge driven bear showed up at the St. Stevens Hospital emergency room and came after him again. "I know it was the same bear because I took off some of his ear with some buck shot. Now I'm worried he is going to follow me home. I had the ambulance take the long way so the beast gets turned around and can't find the way here."

Burlington, IOWA- Ron Bennett, operations manager for Deery Bros. Collision Center, had to remove a deer that attacked the repair center which specializes in damage done by collisions with deer. According to Korey Trail, assistant manager for the collision center, the buck started ramming his head against the front entrance at about 8:20 a.m. until the glass door gave way and the deer was able to enter the office. "I guess this one wanted to bang the cars back up before we got them back to their owners," said Dan Scopazzi, a dent specialist. "If they succeed they will either bankrupt America or we will all be driving lousy looking cars."

Pensecola, FL- A crowd watching an open class power boat race claim they've witnessed a miracle or perhaps even an appearance by Jesus Christ here on Earth. Rick Rettler flipped his boat and ending up running across the surface of the water, then stopping upright on a coral head. Witnesses from St. Benedicts Catholic Church have been following him ever since.

Paducah, KENTUCKY- Local Fire Department officials are worried about a growing trend among college students to replace approved smoke detectors with 'Redneck Fire Alarms.' "This is one college prank that is not only not funny but very unsafe," said Deputy Chief Freda Payne. "If your house got hot enough to set off the popcorn it would be too late," remarked the frustrated safety official.

Boulder, COLORADO - Elks have taken over the Sandyquam neighborhood of North Boulder. Biologists are not able to tell residents when or even if they will ever get their lawns and jacuzzis back from their potentially permanent elk neighbors.

Gulf Shores-ALABAMA - Dean Meminger had fished these waters for over 12 years without incident. But for the last four years he has been stalked by the same alligator that seems to have it in for him. "I ran over this dude by accident once, and he has never forgotten it. I even swapped boats once just to see what would happen and he came after me in the new boat. I was three miles inland one night and this bastard snuck up on me at a party and nearly took my head off."