October 17, 2017

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

"The Lord Works In Mysterious Ways"
MIDDLEBOROUGH, Kentucky- A Kentucky pastor who starred in a reality show about snake handling has died of a snakebite. Jamie Coots died Saturday evening after refusing to be treated, because according to church deacon Derek Aspinal, "Old Cooter believed the Lord had a plan for everything. And when you handle poisonous snakes you are getting feedback from God on how you're doing. For a bunch of years it worked, then that night Cooter got a failing grade. Right when he got bit Cooter turned to me and said 'I shouldn't have parked in that handicap spot yesterday,' and then he started to swell up." Aspinal also said he has no plans to continue the snake handling practice at their church.
"What Are They All Talking About?"

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HOPE, Arkansas- Anybody who has been around animals know that many species tolerate one another but prefer the company of their own kind. That is, except for the animals on Ron Klein's farm. "I've got pigs running with dogs, steers with cats, and these five (a llama, a goat, a sheep, a bull and a rooster)... they are always together. Sometimes it looks like they are talking to one another but I have no idea what's it's about. The rooster is the one who seems to do most the talking, that's for sure," said the amused but confused Klein.
Paws at Ten and Two On The Wheel

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SPOKANE, Washington- A woman on her way home from work was hit at a red light by a car with a Chihuahua behind the wheel. The dog had apparently knocked the parked car out of gear and coasted into traffic. When the woman looked up to see who had hit her, she couldn’t believe what she saw. “I was shocked. I mean... little dogs do weird things sometimes, take on bigger dogs and get into it or eat other dog's poop, but drive in rush hour traffic... that was weird," said victim Tabitha Ormaechea.
"I'm Still Convinced I Saw A Three Headed Deer"

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POLONIA, Wisconsin- Residents at the Lady of the Fields Nursing Home got quite a start the other day when they thought they saw a three headed deer. Much excitement filled the day room until nursing home management called the DNR to investigate. Upon looking at a photo taken by Rocky Zurawski DNR Field Officer Paul Klasinski assured the seniors what they saw was just an optical illusion but Zurawski isn't buying it. "I'm still convinced I saw a three headed deer."
Taxidermist Is Sued

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HOUGHTON/HANCOCK, MICHIGAN- In many families hunting is a lifestyle passed on from generation to generation and bonds are forged while trying to bring home a wild game dinner or a trophy. The Baron Dikkleess family is the perfect example-the 84 year old patriarch Baron, recently took great grandson Dietrek bear hunting and the youngster took down a 450 pounder which Grandpa had stuffed and mounted to commemorate the event. And that is when the trouble started. The bear they got back from the taxidermist looked "Goofy... that's all I can say. The damn thing looks like a cartoon. Looks like something you wouldn't be proud of killin' that's for sure," said Baron Dikkleess. "I paid a bunch of damn money so that bear could stand stand in Dietrek's house and it looks like a damn joke." Taxidermist Frank Baum told reporters, "I'm sorry, but the kid shot the weirdest looking bear I have ever seen. Seriously, this bear must have been the class clown, it's how it looked alive so that's how it looks dead."
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