November 24, 2017

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Woman Can't Get Rid Of Crabs
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BELIZE CITY, Belize- At certain times of year the animal world comes to life in surprising ways. For ocean crabs that time was right when Kelly Edwards stepped out onto the beach. "I walked out onto a deserted beach so my husband could take a picture 'cuz we were all alone, great shot, right? Then I turned around and I was surrounded by crabs. They didn't exactly attack me, but circled around me and when I tried to move away they circled me. Then they went back into the sand. I think we will go skiing next vacation."
No Anchovies Please
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TAKAHARI, Japan- A wild Japanese macaque seems to have been ordering pizza from an iPhone. Whether the phone was stolen or found is uncertain but the macaque has been trying to order American style pizza from it. The former owner of the iPhone, Shinya Miyakoshi, an avid hiker, says he either lost the waterproof cased phone while hiking or that the monkey snuck up and picked his pocket. Biologists have asked Miyakoshi to keep his account active to see if the monkey learns how to do more than punch up the last number Miyakoshi called, which was to order pizza. The pizza parlor says they love trying to talk to the monkey and if they could ever figure out what type of pizza he wants they will be happy to oblige.
Shark Nearly Ruins Vacation
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TEABERRY, Australia- Taking pictures while on your vacation is a time honored tradition. Photo-bombing, jumping into the picture frame while someone is taking a picture, is a social media aged tradition. But, in perhaps a first of its kind, a vacation photo, and almost an entire vacation, was ruined by the sudden emergence of a Great White Shark. Mary Kay Clark and her husband Dean were swimming near the Great Barrier Reef and having a grand time until Dean nearly lost his head to the photo-bombing Great White. "We went from being great adventurers snorkeling the Great Barrier Reef to sitting by the hotel pool all day. In fact, once the shark showed up Dean couldn't wait to get back to Wisconsin."
Giraffe French Kisses Honeymooner
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BUTTSNAATI, Botswana- For most couples their wedding night is no longer the first time they have sex but certainly their honeymoon is supposed to be a very romantic time. For one happily married couple the honeymoon mood was ruined by, of all things, a French kiss from a giraffe. Rick and Katie Rettler were posing at a wildlife park and not only got photo bombed by a giraffe but Rick also got a giant French kiss. "I don't know why but I just couldn't kiss Rick till we got back to America," said Katie. "And if there's no kissin' there's no sex, so... that was that." Her husband added, "Yes, that was that."
Tree Climbing Crocs
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KISSIMEPEEPEE, Florida- Alligators and crocodiles and Floridians have long lived together without too many problems. What will make things more problematic though is when the giant meat eating reptilians climb trees and drop down onto unsuspecting humans. "I was out fishing, drifting in my canoe and looked up and there was this big croc right over me. Looked like it was ready to bounce, too," said Howie Klein. The long time fisherman added, "Ain't never seen crocs or gators in trees but it's advantage them if they can climb up there so now I'll have to have one eye on the water and one on the trees."
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