April 29, 2017

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Giraffe French Kisses Honeymooner

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BUTTSNAATI, Botswana- For most couples their wedding night is no longer the first time they have sex but certainly their honeymoon is supposed to be a very romantic time. For one happily married couple the honeymoon mood was ruined by, of all things, a French kiss from a giraffe. Rick and Katie Rettler were posing at a wildlife park and not only got photo bombed by a giraffe but Rick also got a giant French kiss. "I don't know why but I just couldn't kiss Rick till we got back to America," said Katie. "And if there's no kissin' there's no sex, so... that was that." Her husband added, "Yes, that was that."
Tree Climbing Crocs

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KISSIMEPEEPEE, Florida- Alligators and crocodiles and Floridians have long lived together without too many problems. What will make things more problematic though is when the giant meat eating reptilians climb trees and drop down onto unsuspecting humans. "I was out fishing, drifting in my canoe and looked up and there was this big croc right over me. Looked like it was ready to bounce, too," said Howie Klein. The long time fisherman added, "Ain't never seen crocs or gators in trees but it's advantage them if they can climb up there so now I'll have to have one eye on the water and one on the trees."
"Our Kids Won't Go To School"

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WANCOVIA, Washington- When humans move their homes further and further out into the wild they should expect to come in contact with wildlife. But what is unexpected is to have wildlife camp out on your doorstep. Yet, that's exactly what has happened to Larry and Tara Bookin. "We wanted to raise our kids away from the city, out in nature but after they saw this mountain lion on our front porch they won't leave the house," said Larry. "If it is there or not, they won't go out." The Bookins are home schooling their kids for the rest of the semester.
"The Lord Works In Mysterious Ways"

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MIDDLEBOROUGH, Kentucky- A Kentucky pastor who starred in a reality show about snake handling has died of a snakebite. Jamie Coots died Saturday evening after refusing to be treated, because according to church deacon Derek Aspinal, "Old Cooter believed the Lord had a plan for everything. And when you handle poisonous snakes you are getting feedback from God on how you're doing. For a bunch of years it worked, then that night Cooter got a failing grade. Right when he got bit Cooter turned to me and said 'I shouldn't have parked in that handicap spot yesterday,' and then he started to swell up." Aspinal also said he has no plans to continue the snake handling practice at their church.
"What Are They All Talking About?"

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HOPE, Arkansas- Anybody who has been around animals know that many species tolerate one another but prefer the company of their own kind. That is, except for the animals on Ron Klein's farm. "I've got pigs running with dogs, steers with cats, and these five (a llama, a goat, a sheep, a bull and a rooster)... they are always together. Sometimes it looks like they are talking to one another but I have no idea what's it's about. The rooster is the one who seems to do most the talking, that's for sure," said the amused but confused Klein.
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