April 29, 2017

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Husband Watches Bear Drag Wife From Garage, Ponders Whether To Get Invovled

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SEMOLINA, Florida- A woman is recovering after being attacked by a bear after she walked into her open garage according to sheriff's deputies. The woman said five bears "of various sizes" were rooting through her trash when she walked in and then was "dragged away from the food and out into her driveway," leaving her with scrapes and cuts to her face and legs, Deputy Bunky Brenenstuhl said. The woman escaped the jaws of her attacker while her husband called 911. The victim's husband Robert Slayton said, "When I saw that bear dragging her out into the yard I thought, 'Do I pick up the phone or just see how this plays out? My wife is a bear cat. But the bear had her outweighed by a hundred pounds so I called the cops." Dave Telesco, head of the bear management, said "Get bear proof containers. If they can't find food in your neighborhood, they'll move on. And call 911 right away."
"Are Buildings Next"
CHEVERINO, Italy- Alpine Ibexes amaze with their ability to climb sheer rock walls to lick stones for the salts they contain. The world's greatest climbers, these death-defying goats regularly graze their way up the almost vertical Gran Paradiso National Park dam. While some marvel, others worry. Paolo Pasquilino lives not too far from the dam and said "I have salt in my kitchen. Our building is made our stone, too. I don't think being on the third floor is going to stop these goats from getting in the house."
Woman Can't Get Rid Of Crabs

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BELIZE CITY, Belize- At certain times of year the animal world comes to life in surprising ways. For ocean crabs that time was right when Kelly Edwards stepped out onto the beach. "I walked out onto a deserted beach so my husband could take a picture 'cuz we were all alone, great shot, right? Then I turned around and I was surrounded by crabs. They didn't exactly attack me, but circled around me and when I tried to move away they circled me. Then they went back into the sand. I think we will go skiing next vacation."
No Anchovies Please

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TAKAHARI, Japan- A wild Japanese macaque seems to have been ordering pizza from an iPhone. Whether the phone was stolen or found is uncertain but the macaque has been trying to order American style pizza from it. The former owner of the iPhone, Shinya Miyakoshi, an avid hiker, says he either lost the waterproof cased phone while hiking or that the monkey snuck up and picked his pocket. Biologists have asked Miyakoshi to keep his account active to see if the monkey learns how to do more than punch up the last number Miyakoshi called, which was to order pizza. The pizza parlor says they love trying to talk to the monkey and if they could ever figure out what type of pizza he wants they will be happy to oblige.
Shark Nearly Ruins Vacation

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TEABERRY, Australia- Taking pictures while on your vacation is a time honored tradition. Photo-bombing, jumping into the picture frame while someone is taking a picture, is a social media aged tradition. But, in perhaps a first of its kind, a vacation photo, and almost an entire vacation, was ruined by the sudden emergence of a Great White Shark. Mary Kay Clark and her husband Dean were swimming near the Great Barrier Reef and having a grand time until Dean nearly lost his head to the photo-bombing Great White. "We went from being great adventurers snorkeling the Great Barrier Reef to sitting by the hotel pool all day. In fact, once the shark showed up Dean couldn't wait to get back to Wisconsin."
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