February 19, 2018

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

PBS Airs Porpoise Porn Show
LONDON, England- Animal researcher Margaret Howe Lovatt studied dolphins near the U.S. Virgin Islands in the '60s. She worked with a pubescent male named Peter and one thing led to another and for Lovatt to get Peter to focus on his training she had to help the aroused 300 pounder achieve a climax. "It seemed to be the right thing to do at the time. I didn't enjoy it, Peter did and because it allowed us to get back to work that's all that mattered," said the unashamed Lovatt.
"They Work Together"
TETAGOUCHI, Botswana- Survival of the fittest usually means kill or be killed but it now may include help the other guy kill and not be killed. "We've seen it happening more and more, the pelicans act as a periscope for the crocs and guide them to prey and the crocs then leave the pelicans alone. They used to get eaten. Now they swim around like the own the place," said Suamico National Park superintendent Sag Nagola.
Deer Wants To Drive
TACOMA, Washington- Drivers and deer often collide but truck drivers rarely see deer get up high enough to blast through their windshield right into their cabs. And when it happens it takes a real pro to maneuver to the shoulder and remove the dead deer carcass. Slim Dunlap told reporters "I didn't want Bambi in my lap but for the sake of everyone out there I had to hang in and bring her' down to a safe spot.
"Up Periscope"
LACKAWASHISH, Kenya- If Darwin was right and species evolve then is it possible a giraffe could become a periscope for a zebra? That is exactly the question biologist Jake Scott is asking. "We know various species benefit from being around one another but have these two chosen to actively cooperate and use one another's physical attributes, knowingly, to protect themselves from predators? These zebras love bananas but until making friends with the giraffes they could never get fresh ones."
We Bring The Wildlife to You
KINGS TOWN, England- If you give customers a 100% money back guarantee if they don't see lions when they visit your animal park you might take steps to insure you never have to pay it. And one of those steps might be smearing blood on the underside of the 'people cage' your customers are standing in. When asked if using blood to entice lions to get come sniffing around was a common practice Animal Kingdom Adventure spokesman Marty Blokman said "No comment," but visitor Sally Minton has a different story. "I saw them smear something red from a bucket under the truck right before we took off and those lions came up and looked hungry. It was way too scary for me and the kids."
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