March 10, 2010

Best of Vague But True

It's True, I'm not Making That Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Bear Eats Drunk's Fingers
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MANITOWOC, Wisconsin- A zoo in Manitowoc was shut down after a bear bit off two fingers formerly belonging to a female visitor. Police say the 47-year-old had gone past barriers and warning signs at the Lincoln Park Zoo and was apparently trying to feed two bears around 11:30 a.m. when the bear bit off the woman's thumb and forefinger. Her boyfriend tried to pry her hand out of the bear's mouth and was also bitten. Mayor Justin Nickels' office says alcohol was a factor with both adults. A 3-year-old child with them was not harmed, but the mayor added, "We, here in government, try to create a safe environment for our citizens, but if you're going to get drunk and feed bears... at that point, well... you're on your own."
Climb For Cancer Cut Short by Gulls
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MORRO BAY, California- Cam Kreiter has climbed the most challenging mountain faces in the world. To raise money for a friend facing surgery he told sponsors he would climb Morro Rock in record time. And he was on his way to doing just that until he was attacked by dozens of sea gulls. "They weren't protecting a nest. There was nothing there for them to get defensive about. They just didn't want me to make it to the top. I have been up here hundreds of times and this has never happened... until a friend's life was on the line."
Honeymoon Ruined By Baboons
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CAPE TOWN, South Africa- Dave and Stacy LaJune had their honeymoon ruined by a baboon. Dozens of baboons, actually. "Dave said speed up and run'em down but I stopped and they were on us. They knew how to open the cargo carrier on the roof! They took my lingerie and put it on and started mocking sex acts. Some of my teddies we got back but I couldn't put them on after they had been worn by a dirty monkey," said the frustrated Stacy.
Dog Saves Human
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SIOUX FALLS, South Dakota- The bond between a man and his dog knows no bounds. But, when Jeremy Kramer passed out after a drinking game with friends nobody expected his Puppy, Jaeger, to give him mouth to mouth resuscitation. "I guessed we should have stepped in and helped out ourselves but Jaeger kept huffing away till Jeremy came to," said his room mate Billy Jaye, "so I guess we weren't needed."
Woman Trampled By Herd Of Deer... On A Downtown Sidewalk
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TARBORO, North Carolina- A business owner is recovering from injuries she suffered when she encountered a herd of deer on a downtown sidewalk. Michelle Brewer was opening her jewelry store when one deer passed by, then so many deer appeared that she couldn't move. The last thing Brewer remembers is being eye-level with nothing but deer before she hit the sidewalk. Others told her that one deer kicked her several feet in the air before the rest trampled her.
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